Shanisse Vontress’ favorite childhood memory was running up to her father as he came home from work. A memory most people have but one that often fades over time.  “When I see the flag, I remember my dad and all he went through for my family and for this nation. I always have a sense of respect for military people and their families because I’ve experienced the hardships that come with the honor,” Shanisse said. Growing up in a military family, Shanisse never knew when would be the last goodbye.

Shanisse grew up a “military brat”: A term used for children whose parents are serving or served in the military.  She was born in Agana Heights, Guam at a military base hospital in 2001 and lived there with her family for the first five years of her life. She moved to Sasebo, Japan following her father’s new deployment and lived there for three years.

“Guam and Japan are definitely part of who I am today. I think that if I hadn’t lived there, I would be a different person. I was able to grow up with kids and families who were experiencing the same thing. I also got to see so many places, meet so many people, and learn many things that I wouldn’t have had the chance too if I had lived a normal life.”

Growing up in a military family comes with many sacrifices and changes. Shanisse’s life consisted of a never-ending cycle of losing and gaining. Moving from place to place, changing schools, meeting new people, and saying goodbye was only half of it. Shanisse has lived in Guam, Japan, California, Minnesota, and Kansas. During her 17 years of life, she’s done more things than most people do in a lifetime.

“I think it’s weird to me that most people don’t move around a lot or haven’t lived in other countries, because that’s something I’m used to,” Shanisse said.

Not only did she have to endure not having a definite place to call home, but also had to see her father leave for half of her life. Shanisse, her mother, and her two sisters all had to make the sacrifice of saying goodbye through red-rimmed eyes, and not knowing when would be the last goodbye. She didn’t really know her dad, besides knowing what he looked like; her sisters didn’t have a close relationship with him due to his strictness, and her mother lost part of her identity, she said.

“It was hard not seeing him for so long. As a kid, I found it depressing because the image you often see of a father wasn’t what I grew up with. When I was younger, I would forget how his face looked like and had to see pictures of him in order to remember. I often felt like I didn’t really have a father. Most of the time it was just me, my mom, and my sisters,” Shanisse said.

Growing into a lifestyle that she couldn’t control, Shanisse was affected then but also now. Her relationship with her father is stronger than it used to be, but there are times when connecting with him is still hard. Watching her sisters not have a close relationship with her father upsets her, because it’s something that still needs to be overcome. Aside from that, she has often felt that her growth as a person was affected due to the fact that transitioning from one place to another wasn’t always easy.

Although the difficulties often seemed unbearable and the aftereffects are difficult, Shanisse opts to hold onto the beautiful memories instead of focusing on the negative aspects. She holds onto words said during phone calls with her father. Especially the funny jokes and the warm scolds given when she didn’t listen to her mother. She treasures souvenirs brought back from places such as Australia and Taiwan, and looks back with a glowing smile at her summers filled with amusement parks.

“Going to amusement parks as a family is something I truly cherish. I think that’s something I held onto and something I’ll always remember. Even going to amusement parks now take me back to those fun times when my dad came back,” said Shanisse.

Despite the hardships, being a military brat is an experience Shanisse wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. She’s enjoyed every experience of her life including the negative ones, and she’s learned the real significance of being family. Her father was discharged a few years ago, but the identity she gained through her experiences as a military brat will never tarnish. She may be young and has a full life ahead of her, but if one thing is clear, it’s that nothing will ever change the respect she holds for those that, like her, have sacrificed themselves for this country.

“Being in a military family definitely strengthened my family to the point where we kinda need each other to feel complete and whole. The sacrifices that my dad and family had to make and the cruel reality we had to endure was definitely a hardship, but the countless lessons, experiences, and memories have been blessings,” said Shanisse.